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Diary | Intense Transitions

“The greatest victory has been to be able to live with myself, to accept my shortcomings...I’m a long way from the human being I’d like to be. But I’ve decided I’m not so bad after all.”
— Audrey Hepburn

I’ve been in this intense transitional period in my life. Every area has been affected by this shifting. My normalcy has been stirred due to the level of excellency I am beginning to expect from myself and ultimately, that means all parts of me need to change to bring about the exceptional results I want. Before, I would expect to do well at a given task or better than others. It wasn’t until I came across a line that I read and then put on my vision board, “don’t let others’ accomplishments be your finish line,” that I realized I was setting the bar low for what I knew I could accomplish. I had always felt my potential and only until recently decided that I should finally work to see how far it goes.

Sadly, I had been looking at everyone else’s finish lines.

Progressive change is intense, like a rocket sitting at base with the engines roaring to life in preparation for takeoff or a racehorse in the bullpen anticipating the starting gun. I feel like this transitional period has me in a slingshot. The situations that I find myself in now are preparing me for upwards and forwards movement but I’m not there yet.

First, I must get comfortable with being uncomfortable and we’ve all had our fair share of being comfortable but major successes aren’t made within comfort.

Freedom from comfort is a struggle like when a butterfly must leave the discomfort of its cocoon. Up until a point the cocoon is comfortable for the butterfly as it transitions from a caterpillar. But eventually, due to the sheer size of its folded wings, what once was comforting starts to become disgustingly unpleasant. The butterfly must fight the very thing the older version of itself built around it. It must tear down its own walls of protection to fly. Sounds poetic.

This transition has inspired me to do a complete detox. I’ve detoxed my body through the Whole30 program. I’m constantly working on detoxing my mind with reading, therapy, writing, meditation and deep thinking. I’ve detoxed my love life and decided not to date until I feel that I’m truly at a place, professionally and emotionally, to move to the next level with someone.

I don’t know how someone would detox their spiritual life but I have felt as if my relationship with God has deepened and I’m being rewarded for that. I am more trusting and understanding. I’m more of a believer. I’m also detoxing my screen time with the television and cellphone.

When I looked up the definition of transition (the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another), I came across one of its synonyms: passage. Passage is defined as the act or process of moving forward and the right to pass through somewhere. Life is moving me forward but luckily, I’ve given myself the right to pass through this phase of being to become a better version of myself.

Are you going through any transitions right now? How did you cope? What are you moving towards or away from?

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