Forgiving yourself is arguably the most important step in achieving your personal goals and attaining success if you’re feeling stunted in being able to do so. Often when we think of forgiveness we think of rather or not it deserves to be bestowed on others and not necessarily if it needs to be granted to ourselves.
Forgiveness is defined as “granting pardon to; cease to feel resentment against.” It’s hard to think that we hold resentments against ourselves but what we can do to others we mostly certainly do worse to ourselves.
I realized how mind-shifting the act of forgiving one’s self is when I did it a few weeks ago lying in bed reading one night. While I’ve been in this transitional period, I had been beating myself up a bit on where I am in life. Yes, I’m thankful to have made it this far but I also know how far I can go or could have been if I had made better choices in certain areas. This is when I realized that I didn’t want to carry that burden of “woulda-coulda-shouldas” anymore. So, I said to myself “I forgive you.”
I forgave myself for my not being more diligent towards my goals.
I forgave myself for not being as confident.
I forgave myself for doubting my abilities.
I forgave myself for staying at a job much longer than I should have.
I forgave myself for staying in a relationship way past its expiration date.
Forgiving yourself is freeing and doesn’t require much work. If you carry around some guilt that you’d like to rid yourself of then these two steps can help you get started.
1. Make a list of regrets or complaints you have about your life
We all have at least one regret and definitely more than one complaint. Some of you may feel that you should be making more money or should be more advanced in your career or be married with a family. Some others may feel that they have let themselves go when it comes to their overall health. Whatever it is that you feel burdened by add it to the list.
2. Forgive yourself of each fault.
Go down the list and forgive yourself of everything you’ve written down. I suggest saying it aloud. Don’t think about what you could have done to make it go better because that’s focusing on the past. Think first about releasing the guilt or dissatisfaction. Then think about how you plan on fixing or improving on each thing you’ve forgiven yourself of.
The reason that forgiving yourself is so freeing is because when we complain, we are focusing on the past and how it could have gone better. When you have lifted that burden then you’re able to focus on the present and future. This gives you clarity on what needs to be done moving forward to right whatever wrongs you’ve done against yourself. It’s humbling and it allows you to be honest with yourself.
What do you need to forgive yourself of today?