ThirtyTwo | 32 Lessons Learned In The Past Year
I started my ThirtyTwo series with this post HERE and this is the second installment. I honestly don't know how many installments there will be but this one covers 32 things I've learned in the past year and is almost like a "note to self" of sorts. Check out below what I'll remind myself over the next year:
1. Accept every part of yourself: the vulnerable parts, the shortcomings, your strengths, the things that make you unique, your past, your mistakes, your potential. Accept all of it. Others will try to make you shamed of these things but don't fall for that trap.
2. After you've accepted yourself then accept others for who they are. It may frustrate you to witness someone not being their authentic selves or not standing up or speaking up for themselves. You have to understand that is where they are in life. The only thing you can do is be there to support when they no longer want to be that version of themselves.
3. Increasing your odds of having an orgasm during sex is a worthy personal project. Women only orgasm 20% of the time during intercourse. What gives?!
4. Be honest about your finances. That's the only way to successfully achieve your financial goals. If you don't know where you are financially, there's no way to get to where you want to be.
5. Do. not. fuck. with. the. IRS.
6. It's perfectly fine to change your mind...about who you choose to love, who you choose to be friends with, who you choose to be, what you choose to pursue professionally, etc. Purpose changes with progress.
7. Don't let a man claim you who doesn't want to put in the work to fully claim you. Claim yourself and make sure he's fully aware of that. You do not have to agree with these God-awful "situationships" if that's not what you want.
8. Celebrating your friends, uplifting them, forgiving them, asking for their forgiveness, allowing them to vent to you about all of the changes in their lives, laughing with them, having them hold the camera while yall take fun naughty photos, loving them, and getting to know them on a deeper level is way more fun than gossiping with or about them.
9. Be the ultimate connect for your friends and family. Whenever you hear of an opportunity, make them aware and take a little time to help them prepare.
10. Always negotiate your worth. Women leave, on average, over half a million dollars on the table throughout their careers because they are afraid to negotiate their worth. Be the #boss you hashtag on Instagram.
11. Being submissive to your man sometimes is your prerogative and nothing you should be ashamed of. To me, feminism is about having multiple choices in what you do in every area of your life, not trading one choice for one other. The trick is knowing which man is worthy of being submissive to.
12. If a thought or idea is "haunting" you, that's by design. Pursue the reasoning for it and act. I always looked at it as God guiding me towards and within my purpose.
13. Instead of complaining about your current situation, make moves to either fix it or completely change it.
14. You can have everything you want in life but you will have to sacrifice other things. The bigger the dream, the bigger the sacrifices. You truly can create the life you want to live but it's going to be hard as fawk.
15. It's important to schedule in time to reflect and to pamper yourself. Social media eats up way too much of that time.
16. Listen to God when He speaks. Don't get caught up in who is delivering the message or how or why the message is being delivered to you.
17. Have a meal that impresses guests. Mine is salmon (seasoned well as hell) over a bed of sauteed garlic spinach (sometimes substituted for broccolini) and mashed potatoes. Never fails me.
18. Put in the work to repair broken relationships that are worthy of being repaired.
19. It's 2017. You don't have to feel pressured to get married or have children to meet some societal deadline. However, it is smart to date with that goal in mind if you do want to one day have a family. And don't be afraid to let potential mates know that is your goal.
20. Your friends will forget your birthday. Some family members won't celebrate you when you do well. Take none of it personally. Make a big deal out of your own birthday. Celebrate yourself.
21. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Be picky with who you show your vulnerable side to...but be vulnerable. It feels so good to be human.
22. Tell the person you love that you love them. Tell the person you like that you like them.
23. Take a break from celebrity news and live your own exciting life. There is so much to discover. Life bends for us when we are intentional in living it.
24. Talk to yourself in the mirror every morning. Say things like "I love you" and "you're beautiful" and "you're intelligent" and "yep, stomach still on flat flat, ass still on fat fat" or whatever other pep talks you need.
25. Write your own story. Share your truth. It will be frightening but people need to hear it to be motivated by you. Your story deserves to be told by YOU.
26. Always bet on love.
27. Work hard. Seriously. Don't just do the bare minimum because if you do that then that's exactly what you'll get out of it. It feels good to work hard for your dreams until they come true.
28. Figure out exactly what YOUR real goals and dreams are, not the ones others have for you, and then confidently pursue them.
29. "Mad money" is not to be stacked, saved or invested. It's for buying the ridiculously expensive shoes, bag, concert ticket, last-minute unplanned weekend getaway, half-birthday gift, etc. Get yourself a "mad money" account outside of your savings account.
30. It's important to collect stories and experiences that will just tickle your future grandchildren.
31. Not everyone will understand your spiritual path. Do not waste time trying to explain it to them either. There are as many paths to God as there are people dead, alive and yet to be born.
32. Note to self: Anything that comes from a cow literally hates your body. There is nothing you can do to change that. Eat the cheese. Take the Gas-X.