ThirtyTwo | 32 Opinions on Making Sex Better
Over here at The Experience Collector, I aim to inspire people to live their best lives in all areas but specifically in business, sex, ambition, travel, love and money. In the third installment of my series #ThirtyTwo, which celebrates my 32nd birthday, I want to share my opinions on making sex better. I repeat, these are my opinions. Feel free to add your own in the comment sections. Check them out below:
1. If you're not getting what you want before, during, or after sex then speak up and say so. Everyone likes direction in bed because people like pleasing their partners.
2. Get tested. It's a terrifying 15 minutes but it's so worth it. It shows you respect yourself and your current and future partners.
3. Never fake an orgasm. It helps no one. The only thing that happens when you fake an orgasm is that you don't actually get your orgasm and he keeps doing the things that he thinks are causing your fake orgasm. It's a vicious cycle of dissatisfaction.
4. If you are, in fact, having an orgasm, SAY SO. Why not announce it? What a reward for a romp well done.
5. Have fun during foreplay. Stop trying to rush your way to the main course. Appetizers should be indulged as well.
6. Have fun after sex too. It doesn't have to become all business of clean up and whatnot.
7. Don't be afraid to try new positions. If they don't work then move on...but just imagine when they do. Good gawd.
8. Try old positions with new scenery: your bathroom floor, balcony, backseat of a car, kitchen counters, movie theater, library basement *hides face*...you get my gist.
9. Role-playing isn't for amateurs but how fun is it to have some alter-ego only you and your partner know about.
10. Make sure to bring these alter-egos up in public around others right before heading home. The anticipation is enough to make you want to get started in the back of your uber.
11. Sweet love and slow strokes produce some of the most mind-blowing orgasms.
12. Bite but leave no marks.
13. But sometimes, it's necessary to mark your territory. If your partner is into it, definitely bite and leave marks. It might be fun to see how he tries to hide it for the next week.
14. I've never heard a woman brag about enjoying sex with a man who had those jackrabbit strokes. Fellas, if you're reading this, it's not too late, just slooooowww down. Ladies, it's ok to instruct him to slow down if you're not enjoying yourself.
15. Let's be real: threesomes are messy and un-orchestrated. But if that's how you like it, proceed with caution my friends.
16. Onesomes, on the other hand (ha! pun intended), are awesome. Getting to know yourself down unda' is the first step to telling your partner how to please you.
17. I think people get bored with sex because they're used to doing it around the same time of day (i.e. morning sex or right before bed). Try sneaking it in for lunch (if you work close and can swing it) or right after you make it home from work but before dinner. It's always the little things.
18. Speaking of little things: feathers, sex dice, silk scarves, ties, etc. all have a place in the bedroom.
19. Try abstaining from sex with your sig-o. Sometimes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. That's what they say. Idk, yall let me know.
20. Sex playlists are old school but some things never go out of style (i.e. Luther, R. Kelly, Marvin Gaye).
21. New school playlists are cool too (i.e The Weeknd, Bryson Tiller, Ed Sheeran).
22. Doing something adventurous together outside of the bedroom like going to a gun range and shooting the big ones or riding roller-coasters (or whatever is adventurous to you) produces the same brain chemicals that lead to sexy-time. It might inspire you to try something new or to not be bored (especially if you've been together for awhile).
23. Make the first move. I know that women, like myself, usually prefer that a man is in charge during sex (unless role-playing dominatrix-style *ahem*) but something as simple as initiating sex can make the same old sex that much better.
24. Rent a hotel room in your city JUST for sex. The possibilities are endless. No rest for the weary.
25. Sleep naked. One less step.
26. Add a pillow. It's already there. Pillows can alter the angle of penetration. Do I need say more?
27. Kiss while you come. It sounds simple enough but I'm willing to bet that most people don't. I once read that kissing while you come is like "when you went on a field trip to the science museum and all held hands while someone touched that electricity orb."
28. Decide that you want to have better sex. You'll get creative soon enough.
29. Most men already do this if they feel like they're about to come too soon but demanding that he "edge" when you feel like he's about to come is a good route to an even more intense orgasm.
30. Throw in some anal play (WITH PERMISSION). Women AND men are both able to get stimulated just from fooling around the entrance. You don't have to give the butt a full court press to be able to add another level of stimulation to sex.
31. Make up a new set of rules...or safe word...
32. (Fill in the blank)