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Welcome to my blog. I write about experiences in business, sex, ambition, travel, love and money.

Diary: Are You Unhappy Because Your Life Is On Autopilot?

“I would like to be remembered as someone who did the best she could with the talent she had.”
— J.K. Rowling

Diary posts consists of my random thoughts that I free-write while on the bus, driving, grocery shopping, traveling, etc. You may or may not agree. That's fine. Let's discuss in the comments section.

January 23, 2017 8:26 a.m.

Note to self: Make an intentional decision to create the life you want to live. 

It's the craziest thing in the world to me that people go throughout this life on autopilot. They hate where they work. They're unhappy in their marriages or they’re unhappy being single. They wish they could travel more, make more money, be more authentic. People have all of these wishes yet no willpower and no plan to make them come true. Trust me, it IS possible to be your own genie.  

I’ve always wondered “what is stopping most people, including myself, from creating the lives we truly want to live? Why is it so hard for people to not do the thing that makes them most happy?” 

I've been exploring this new passion of mine: advancing the depth of the human experience. Of course, exploring ways for people to live a deeper, more fulfilling life through their chosen experiences isn’t a new thought for humanity. There have been all kinds of people who have thought of ways to influence or motivate people to live deeper lives - sages the world over: Oprah, Iyanla, Deepak Chopra, Jesus, Buddha, just to name a few. 

There are so many things that chain us to unhappy lives. Two of the biggest bounds: TV and social media. Instead of taking life by the reins and working hard to create the life we want, we've allowed ourselves to be continually distracted because it's just easier to be distracted than totally aware of this unhappy life you're living.

“I love to see a young girl go out and grab life by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.”
— Maya Angelou

There is no blueprint for creating the life you want to live. But there are proven actions you can take to be on the road to get there. 

Understand that creating the life you want to live is a process, not a destination. 

All of life is the act of creating, whether you’re doing it for yourself or someone is doing it for you. There are two ways of creating something, like a piece of jewelry for example. You can sketch out (or plan) how you want the final piece to look and then work to accomplish that. Or you can just pick up the tools you have and move intentionally towards creating a wearable piece of jewelry. Now, you may not know exactly how the latter option will look or if you can finish it but the first option gives you your best chances of creating what it is you want. That’s how I look at creating your life – like that first option. Sketch out what you want in life and be honest about it. If you don’t have the tools you need (i.e. education, experience, confidence, etc.) then go get those things. Create a step-by-step plan to get there. If, while on the journey, you realized you missed a step then go back to the plan and rearrange some things. It won’t be perfect but at least it’ll be yours.

Explore what makes you happy. No one has lived long enough to make some final decision on everything that makes them happy. Do things you've never done before. 

What I most love about life is that there are always opportunities to learn something new or different than what you’ve ever experienced. There is literally no limit to the number of experiences you can have.

Work NOW to get out of whatever is making you unhappy.

That could be a job, city or relationship. There are two ways to "get out of" something making you unhappy. You can physically leave or you can change your perception. For example, if you hate your job then either leave as soon as you can or change your view about its purpose. The current job you hate can be a sort of catalyst to where you actually want to be. Look at it as the stepping stones leading you to the next pivot in your career.

Cut out TV and social media hours. 

There is no law that says you must be up on every new show or know what's going on in every celebrity's life. There's so much information these days and TV and social media fill us with damaging and unnecessary information. Trust me, at the end of your life, you won't be concerning yourself with the latest rap beef or Kim K's derriere. I don't think you should cut out social media altogether (or you could if that's what you've really wanted to do *raises hand*) but you can tame your use of it. 

Know, for a fact, that you deserve to live the life you want to live.

However, just because you deserve something doesn't mean it's going to come easy to you. If you didn't work diligently to create the life you want to live, you'll, unfortunately, be filled with regret that you didn't. Don't leave this world full of life and potential. 


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